The Positive And Negative Impact Of Social Media On Relationships

When it comes to relationship, there are some things one must avoid – some of such things is social media.

Social media has undoubtedly blown up the world of the beginning, maintaining, and ending relationships.

While I’ve aged out of the dating pool, I remember the discovery of instant messenger (IM) and chat rooms when I was in junior high–my girlfriends and I immediately recognized this technological advance for the miracle it was: a way to flirt with boys!

Luckily, this was also pre-cell phone and digital camera, our banter was ridiculously innocent and naive, and we all avoided abduction to laugh about it today.

Social media has impacted how relationships grow and sustain themselves.

On one hand, social media and technology have allowed relationships to be established and sustained from a physical distance.

On the other hand, social media may have “ruined dating,” in the sense that the courtship process can now occur almost entirely over the internet and decrease the incentive to make a commitment.

The search for perfection may make you even less likely to commit, especially when potential flaws or incompatibilities emerge.

With other options always easily available via the web, it may not seem worth it to work through a potential obstacle or overlook a potential flaw to see if the relationship has potential.

With access to a limitless supply of paramours, it can feel like ‘settling’ to label yourself as being in an exclusive relationship.

You can also privately juggle multiple relationships at once, which can make it difficult to give anyone relationship the attention needed to really assess whether it could develop and become meaningful.

A rotating roster of relationship candidates can promote a false sense of what one person can truly provide another, and possibly stunt someone from learning how to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship in the future.

Not only has social media changed how we initiate and maintain relationships, but it has also impacted our ability to end them and move on with our lives.

An NPR special on online dating noted that “texting and social media make romantic ties simultaneously easy to avoid and harder to shake.” The termination of a relationship just doesn’t mean what it used to.

Pre-internet, if you broke up with someone and wanted to avoid reminders of their existence, you could do so fairly easily: destroy their photographs, change your routine, move to a new town, etc.

Now, all of your ex’s lives, future partners, and future children can be viewed in the comfort of your own bedroom every night.

Even if you ‘block’ them, friends of friends who are friends of theirs can lead to unpleasant surprise ‘interactions,’ which can be unsettling and perhaps prevent someone from getting the psychological distance they need from an ex.

Developers are coming up with ways to limit such opportunities, such as Eternal Sunshine, named after the film where ex’s undergone treatment in order to have each other erased from their memories. This program proposes to digitally erase all reminders of an ex.

So, if you are trying to meet someone using social media, remember that in order to find out if you have a connection, it is important to make an effort to get to know someone without the distraction of multiple potential love interests.

Keep in mind that flaws are what make us interesting, and part of the fun of getting to know someone and developing a relationship is to overcome challenges and be vulnerable together.

Make sure to save some interactions for real-time in-person communication, so as to give yourselves opportunities to experience life from the same perspective, and to engage in mutually shared experiences.

Don’t get caught up in the FOMO (“fear of missing out”) or social comparison with your ex’s virtual life. It distracts you from moving on with your life and can open wounds that need to heal.

Focus on how technology can strengthen your bonds with others, and be keen on how it can also distract us from getting what we want: healthy, sustainable relationships that make us feel good about ourselves.