These Three Jokes Will Make Your Day

1.) In a “Mental Hospital” of 38 patients, a Journalist asks the Doctor:

“How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Dr: “Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient:
(a). a teaspoon
(b). a glass
(c). a bucket.. and ask them to empty the bathtub.

Journalist: “Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.

Dr: “No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! … Please go to bed No.39. We will start further investigations on you!”………………………

You also thought of the bucket, didn’t you? Please go to bed No. 40!

Share please… There are still some beds available !!

2.) A Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the Whistler’s name. No one answered.
The Professor peacefully kept the Pen in his pocket saying: “Lecture ends here. I’ll tell you a story to utilise the remaining time”. Everyone became interested.

He started:
“Yesterday night I tried hard to sleep, but it was miles away from my eyes, so I thought I’d better get petrol in my car, which will save my time next morning and might induce sleep. After having my tank full, I
started roaming in that area, enjoying the peace of a traffic free ride.
Suddenly, on the corner I saw a girl who was as young and beautiful as the clothes she was wearing. Must have been returning from a party.
Out of courtesy, I turned my car towards her and asked if I may be of any help.
She asked me if I could drop her to her home, she’ll be very obliged, to which I agreed.
She sat in the front seat with me. We started talking, and to my amazement she was very intelligent, had control on many topics which many youngsters don’t.

When we reached her address, she admitted my courteous nature and behavior and accepted that she had fallen in love with me.
I also admitted her intelligence and beauty and that I’ve also started
liking her.
I told her about my job as a professor in the university. The girl
asked my number, which I gave her willingly.
Then she asked me a favor, to which I couldn’t have denied naturally.

She said that her brother is a student in the same university, and asked me to take care of him, since we’ll be in a long relationship now.
I asked the name of the student.
She said that I’ll recognise him with one of his very prominent quality, He whistles a lot!

(All eyes in the classroom turned towards the boy who had whistled).

The professor said: “I didn’t buy my Ph.D in Psychology…I earned
it.”Oya! Come out.

3.) A primary two teacher asked the class:
“Children, how many people did Jesus feed with bread?”
The whole class was silent.
The teacher then said: “whosoever answers the question, will have my two phones as an award of excellence.”

A little boy then stood up and said: “Ma, Jesus fed five thousand people.”
The teacher said: “that’s so good of you my boy,” and handed her two phones to the boy and said:
“ask me your own question so that I can answer and take back my phones.”

The boy asked the teacher: “what were the names of the five thousand people?”

Hahaha! Bad child…